"DO YOU LOVE ALI?"
(NB. My apologies to Andy for this being a somewhat self-indulgent post. I know you don't like those, but bear with me on this one)
Of all the places to have the following conversation the SOAS Library is probably the least likely. 1) you're not supposed to talk, at least not loudly. 2) The 22 tender years have been characterized by a seemingly interminable strife between the half of me that would love to be good and studious and the other that would like to just sit back with a beer in my hand and banter all day long. This conflict naturally pertains to the Library, i'm sure you'll understand.
(Now that the scene has been set)
I was in a conversation with a Shia Indian where, as the conversation progressed, he learned that Iraqi Chav's father is from a part of Iraq near Najaf.
Najaf.
(Just writing that has got the Shia all excited the world over)
Anyway. Mr Shia suddenly develops an eager gaze at me, as if I could be the site of newly discovered gold. And the following leaves his mouth:
"DO YOU LOVE ALI?????"
.
.
.
.
.
Picture this: You're a recently sinned Christian. In fact you've committed adultery. You're confessing to a priest. The priest wants to save your marriage. Picture the ferocity in his words: 'DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE?'
Now take that ferocity and superimpose that on Mr Indian Shia's words.
Put yourself in my shoes. Mr Indian Shia is obviously expecting the answer 'YES' so that he can reply with 'elhamdullilah' and marvel at the discovery of a Shia Chav. But Iraqi Chav is essentially an eclectic agnostic existentialist (whatever that means). And despite fearing a possible earthquake-causing backlash from our zealous Shia friend I had to break it to him:
'i'm afraid not.'
In fact Ali means no more to me than Jimmy Saddle.
(Sorry my Shia folk but i'm sure your copious love for him plugs that gap)
Of all the places to have the following conversation the SOAS Library is probably the least likely. 1) you're not supposed to talk, at least not loudly. 2) The 22 tender years have been characterized by a seemingly interminable strife between the half of me that would love to be good and studious and the other that would like to just sit back with a beer in my hand and banter all day long. This conflict naturally pertains to the Library, i'm sure you'll understand.
(Now that the scene has been set)
I was in a conversation with a Shia Indian where, as the conversation progressed, he learned that Iraqi Chav's father is from a part of Iraq near Najaf.
Najaf.
(Just writing that has got the Shia all excited the world over)
Anyway. Mr Shia suddenly develops an eager gaze at me, as if I could be the site of newly discovered gold. And the following leaves his mouth:
"DO YOU LOVE ALI?????"
.
.
.
.
.
Picture this: You're a recently sinned Christian. In fact you've committed adultery. You're confessing to a priest. The priest wants to save your marriage. Picture the ferocity in his words: 'DO YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE?'
Now take that ferocity and superimpose that on Mr Indian Shia's words.
Put yourself in my shoes. Mr Indian Shia is obviously expecting the answer 'YES' so that he can reply with 'elhamdullilah' and marvel at the discovery of a Shia Chav. But Iraqi Chav is essentially an eclectic agnostic existentialist (whatever that means). And despite fearing a possible earthquake-causing backlash from our zealous Shia friend I had to break it to him:
'i'm afraid not.'
In fact Ali means no more to me than Jimmy Saddle.
(Sorry my Shia folk but i'm sure your copious love for him plugs that gap)
posted by NS at 12:26 am
0 comments
The most threatened group in human societies as in animal societies is the unmated male: the unmated male is more likely to wind up in prison or in an asylum or dead than his mated counterpart. He is less likely to be promoted at work and he is considered a poor credit risk. 
